As I sit down to write on this beautiful Friday morning, silver-grey clouds darken the sky while a moderate shower of rain continuously moistens the landscape. As I attempt to write a few introductory words … a small feeling whispers: “meditate first.”
Minutes later, I am reviewing the profound events about which I am preparing to write … about how a one-year-old little boy literally changed my life.
Suddenly, a huge wave of intensely sad emotion begins to rush up from my heart and out through the top of my head. As my jaw shakes, tears flood down my cheeks while I contemplate the source of this unexpected emotion – buried adult judgment – judgment that, even today, would attempt to suppress the playful magic of an innocent little child. The shocking truth is that this judgment continues to spew from somewhere deep inside me.
But I am getting a little ahead of myself.
A Willingness To Follow
Excitement fills my heart as I playfully stroll toward the eastern edge of town. I just published my first blog since returning to San Marcos – an inspired piece of writing titled “Full Circle” – one documenting the beginning phase of my journey home in the early days of July. That was a period of emotional struggle – a period where I unknowingly inhaled the emotions of fellow travelers all around me.
Now I just giggle as I approach Keith’s magical porch. It is early Sunday afternoon, the second day of October, three months to the day since I began that memorable journey home.
I am excited to continue my own magical healing journey, even though I have no idea what is about to transpire. Experience has profoundly shown me that the only thing I need do is to show up with an open heart and a willingness to follow the energies wherever they might lead.
Focusing On My Heart
After a beautiful and peaceful “glow meditation,” I am glowing from the inside out, feeling nothing but energetic peace and a desire to shine that inner light for others.
“How are you doing today?” Keith starts his individual work with me.
“Good.” I respond with surprise, wondering why the usual solar plexus pain is presently nowhere to be found.
“Do you want to work with her?” Keith asks, as he points to a woman on the porch who appears to be deeply struggling in the throws of emotion.
Still not fully understanding what I am doing, nor how I do it, I begin to use my budding empath awareness to assist this woman in releasing a great deal of her deep fear. As the doubts begin to jump up and down in my head, I simply disengage rational thought, instead directing all focus to my heart.
The Last To Know
“I don’t have a clue what I am doing.” I whisper silently to my heart. “But I know that you do already know how to do this. Will you please take it from here?”
Soon, I envision my heart sending out its healing energy – energy that first encircles the woman – energy that I later feel expanding to encompass the entire porch. At the rational mind level, I still do not have a clue as to what I am doing – but the beautiful woman with whom I am working is an empath herself, and she lovingly reassures me that she does indeed feel my loving assistance in a powerful way.
I trust that my journey right now is to learn to trust … that my rational-mind knowing will unfold in proper time. I can only smile with confidence as I remember Keith’s frequent words telling me that the “rational mind is usually the last to know.”
A Peaceful Flow
I continue sharing energy with this woman for at least thirty minutes before moving back to my pillow to rest my aching legs. I revel in deep peace at the realization that my heart is indeed powerful, and that I am making a difference.
After a while, this same woman enters another profound wave of emotion. Soon I am again sitting cross-legged in front of her, again engaging my heart in ways I have yet to understand with the mind. As I do so, I focus on bringing in higher energies through both my crown and my root – remembering the importance of opening up my own energetic channels to the life force of Mother Earth.
As I do so, I sense a renewed peaceful flow of soothing energy in my abdomen.
Phase One Panic
Soon, Keith’s work elsewhere on the porch guides him into conducting an empath training.
“Sharon and Bobby, do you want to participate in the training with me?” I meditate with my little inner children.
As I connect more deeply, I sense Bobby’s hesitation. He is filled with fear. I energetically hold his hand as we proceed together.
Phase one – where I bring in the emotional energy of others, actually storing it in my body – begins in a quite normal way. But as I feel a mild flow of energy streaming into my third-eye, I start to experience significant pain building up in my lower chakras. The discomfort is so intense that both Bobby and I begin to panic with fright. I remember the confusing emotions that overwhelmed me in my early days of travel just three months ago – and I begin to intuitively feel what I now recognize as emotional memories from childhood – forgotten memories of the intense emotional onslaught that Bobby once endured.
Without asking for Keith’s input, Bobby and I quickly put an energetic stop to this phase of the training. It is simply too frightening and overwhelming. Intuitively, I recognize that I have been opening significant energies in my abdomen lately – and that the more I open these channels, the more my empath sensitivities will also open up. I briefly question if this is what I really desire.
A Gentle Glimpse
During phase two – where the emotional energy flows through me without touching me – I feel a little energy activity in my third eye, but I am so preoccupied with fear from phase one, that I energetically block most of the experience.
During phase three – where the emotional densities never touch me, where they flow straight to their higher evolvement – I make a concerted effort to drop all resistance while letting go of rational mind’s preconceived ideas.
“I want to feel this as it happens!” I plead with my Higher Self while asking logical thinking to temporarily step aside.
To my surprise, I suddenly feel a mild energy tapping me on the third eye. Then I feel the slight sensation of energy flowing up my forehead, on the outside of my scalp, rising to the point of my crown, and then up to the heavens – never touching me on the inside, yet touching me just enough so that I could feel it physically on my skin.
I am deeply grateful that the Universe gave me a mild and gentle glimpse. I am not sure if Bobby and I could have withstood anything more intense at the moment.
Reopened Fear
As we further practice our empath abilities, with a member of our group sitting in the middle of the porch, I am slightly disappointed that I continue to sense very little energy with my physical senses.
Suddenly I remember that while in Valladolid during early July, I had asked my Higher Self to install a filter – one that would prevent me from unknowingly inhaling the energy of others during a phase of not-yet-understanding what I do.
“Please remove that filter.” I ask my guides. “Now that I am back in San Marcos I want to fully experience everything.”
As I make this request, I have no idea how much fear this will reopen.
Joyful Fun
Almost immediately, I am intuitively guided to reconnect with the metaphor of a stadium filled with cells from my abdomen.
“If you can find the strength, please allow the light to flow.” I speak to my inner energies from the metaphorical stage of that imaginary football stadium.
“The cells will be much more likely to respond positively if we make this fun.” Another idea floods my intuitive awareness.
Immediately I shift from an attitude of ‘serious work’ into one of ‘joyful fun’, while continuing to focus on allowing the energies to flow through me.
Flash Bulbs Of Insight
Then, as Keith continues talking to others, new memories flood my heart.
“I used to brag to myself about how I could be friends with almost anyone.” I suddenly remember.
Seconds later, memories of a few emotionally taxing past-friendships swarm my mind. I clearly remember how painful those friendships had been. I stood by those friends with pure unconditional love while constantly inhaling their emotional pain, consoling them by taking their dense energy into me. After all, I believed that this is what friends do … they take on each other’s pain. That belief literally became my distorted definition of love.
With one friend in particular, I remember how she would suddenly be all happy and bubbly after our conversations – while it often took a day or two of isolation for me to re-center myself after listening to her rant and rave about all of the injustices that had been done to her by others.
“I was an empathic sponge for those friends.” The light bulbs suddenly flash in my awareness. “I never understood before how I was literally consuming their toxic emotion, bringing it inside of me, filling my own body with it, and then isolating for days while trying to recover my peaceful inner sanity.”
Hidden Connections
As these memories flash through me, my abdomen immediately begins to dance wildly with intense fear and prickly pain – pain again warning me that maybe I really do not want to open this energy sensitivity at all – maybe it is not safe.
I recall that there were years in my life when I was extremely hesitant to consider taking on any additional friendships. At the time, I honestly believed this was because I simply did not have enough time to spread myself too thin. Now I clearly see that I was terrified by the thought of having more unhealthy people in my life – people with whom my responsibility would be to sacrifice my own well-being in order to help them maintain emotional balance. My definition of friendship at the time was one of self-sacrificing, devoted, loving, loyalty in which I would serve as their emotional garbage can. What a distorted idea that is.
“And I am still terrified to engage in more intimate partner relationships for the same reason.” I suddenly recognize. “I am terrified that intimate love means losing myself in the same way that I used to lose myself in my friendships.”
“With friendships I can always go isolate to recover.” I ponder with increasing clarity. “Yet with an intimate partner I might have no such freedom to isolate, regroup, and heal myself. I would be under constant bombardment by the other person’s energy.”
“NO …” my inner resistance flares up. “I cannot handle that … yet.”
I had no idea my buried empath abilities were so profoundly connected to my fears of intimacy.
Powerful Panicky Peace
Wow, this is powerful! My heart and abdomen twitch wildly with anxiety as these unexpected insights continue to flood my mind.
In an effort to stabilize the panic, I place my left hand on my heart, the right on my belly, and breathe with intense focus – all the while observing the painful, prickly, twitching that consumes my abdomen.
Even as my abdomen erupts with fearful anxiety, my meditative focus allows cool, peaceful, pleasant energy to flow gently through my heart. With each deep breath, I send some of that peaceful love in the direction of a frightened belly.
With the empath-filter now removed and my energy sensitivity increased, I am tearfully remembering the pain and fear of taking on the energy of others. The conscious cells in my lower chakras are terrified of returning to those past times of intense emotional chaos.
His Only Option
As Keith soon notices my deep breathing and agitated abdominal energy, he points out that I have established a low-grade connection to many people on the porch – that I am actually sucking their densities into me, feeling them, and moving them through me – without keeping them inside of me.
I had no idea that I was actually doing this while processing such deep inner fears about doing just that.
After his unexpected feedback, Keith then returns to work with my friend Serg, who is experiencing the energy of his own painful emotional bombardment from around age five. As I connect to Serg’s energy, my pain again steps up to a new level of intensity as I energetically remember the indescribable inner panic of my own five-year-old self – a sensitive and loving little boy profoundly terrorized by the emotional energies flooding his tiny body – a little boy who had absolutely no understanding about what was happening to him – a little boy who was isolated and alone in his painful world, having no one around him with whom he could discuss that pain. His only coping option was to shut it all down.
It Will Come In Time
For the remainder of the chocolate ceremony, I sit in focused meditation. With hands on heart and abdomen, I continue to breathe deeply while moving streams of fear-based energy – first into my awareness, then out to the angels for transmutation.
“Wow,” I exclaim to Keith as the ceremony concludes. “The energy sensitivities have terrorized me – triggering fears from past experiences in which I actually internalized those dense energies, literally eating them. Still not fully knowing what I am doing only serves to intensify that fear.”
“You did a great job of staying out of your head and simply trusting your heart.” Keith congratulates me. “Your rational-mind knowing will come in time.”
Learning To Trust
As I finally sink into my pillow, I again meditate about the beautiful synchronicities that now happen on a constant basis – today being the fact that I just published a blog about the panic of inhaling the emotional energy of others, following which I asked my guides to install a temporary filter to prevent me from unknowingly doing just that.
Now, my journey of writing about “Full Circle” has literally taken me full circle in another way. I have removed that filter and am now ready to explore this empath stuff, no matter what inner panic and fear the journey might unearth and stir-up in the process.
No, I will not reinstall that filter … I will instead further open the magic … further learning to trust.
What Was That About?
Monday and Tuesday breeze by in a flash. I love my new pillows and bedspread from the tailor in Panajachel, and I am beginning to write with increased passion, publishing a blog titled, “An Opportunity To Shine.” Indeed I do feel as if my whole life is opening up, that I am on the verge of shinning my light even brighter. I cannot wait to move further into this amazing synchronous flow.
As I meditate early Wednesday morning, I combine that meditation with increased funky-leg stretching while constantly checking my intuitions to make sure I will not harm my physical body in any way.
After thirty minutes – with my knees forward and my feet beside my hips with toes pointed out sideways – I am stuck and can hardly move through the numbness in order to free myself from this position. But before attempting this extraction process, I experience a powerful and unexpected flow of energy.
When surrendering to the pain and fear, I suddenly experience a great deal of energy moving in my legs and abdomen. The energy quickly rises, swelling into my chest. The unexpected energy is deeply pleasurable, almost sexual, as it fills my entire chest cavity. In the midst of this energetic burst, a great deal of fear and anxiety simultaneously stir, mixed in with sensations of overwhelming joy and excitement.
Then, to my shock, the joy takes me into tears that quickly transform into nearly five minutes of powerful emotional release. I am overwhelmed by the intensity of the emotion – jaw shaking and tears streaming – while having absolutely no intuitive understanding whatsoever regarding the source or nature of the emotion itself.
“What was that about?” I question with surprise when the emotion ends as abruptly as it began.
Disturbing The Peace
As I arrive early on the porch on Wednesday, October 5, I am surprised to see a young mother there with her tiny son – a blue-eyed, energy-radiating little guy who I am told is only one-week-shy of his first birthday. His mother has asked me to call him “Aaculaax (aah-coo-lawsh)” in my writing.
As I observe this delightful little boy, I can only wonder what magical energy he must bring with him into this physical plane – and how lucky he is to have a mother who recognizes, cherishes, and nurtures that magic.
As I assist in preparing the porch for the upcoming ceremony, literally everything that I start to prepare is quickly picked up and disturbed by the eager and curious hands of this playfully-active little toddler.
“This will be quite interesting.” I think to myself when I learn that the young woman intends to remain with her son on the porch for the ceremony. “I know that everything happens on this porch for a reason … and that it is all my creation … but how can we possibly have a relaxing and meditative ceremony with such an active and curious little boy getting into everything?”
I have often heard Keith tell people that children are always welcome on his porch, but deep judgmental concerns begin to overwhelm the adult pragmatist in me, demanding that this situation is simply not acceptable for a chocolate ceremony … that Aaculaax will be a great disturbance to the peace.
I do my best to ignore these pesky ego judgments as deep curiosity wonders where this will all lead.
Seen And Not Heard
As the “glow meditation” begins, I find great difficulty in focusing. My mind is instead focused on the noisy, somewhat-disruptive, activity of this precious little boy.
I am overwhelmed with memories of my religious upbringing. Mormon’s were encouraged to bring their young babies to church. Some were quite disruptive, and people merely tolerated their noisy activity. But I was raised in a home where I was taught to be reverent, to not wiggle, squirm, or disturb others in any way during the sacred church services.
As I became an adult with six beautiful children of my own, I was determined that my own children would never be an embarrassing disturbance to others.
I cringe with shame as I remember restrictively holding my own children in church, physically restraining them, squeezing them snugly, not allowing them to wiggle and move in ways that might disturb others. When they would talk out loud, I would shush them, even lightly snapping them on the lips with my finger when they talked out loud – attempting to lovingly teach them that in church, “little children are to be seen and not heard.”
Self-Perpetuated Pain
When the “glow meditation” concludes, I am actively whimpering as tears stream lightly down my cheeks.
I find myself imagining that this beautiful little boy on the porch today is me, Bobby, at age one. Just like Aaculaax, I am magical, alive, active, eager, innocent, joyful, playful, giggling, without a care in the world.
Then I switch roles and see myself as my own loving mother, wanting to shut down the unrecognized-magic of that beautiful little boy, to get him to be ‘seen and not heard.’
I feel horrible as I contemplate the conflicting emotions suddenly racing around in my body – combinations of intense sadness and suppressed anger – sadness and anger at my own parents for what they did to me – sadness and anger at myself for what I did to my own children.
These emotions are intense and overwhelming. I wish I could bawl my brains out, but I instead hold back on the tears, knowing that I want to find a higher-energy method of processing these newly unearthed emotions.
Nausea swells in my abdomen, a physical sensation that desperately wants to vomit out this nasty energy. It is the painful energy of my own magical shutdown – it is the energy of loving parents firmly molding a child into what he is “supposed to be” – but worst of all it is the energy of my own deeply ingrained adult values, continuing to shutdown the magical playful energy of my own inner child energies, my precious little Bobby.
I am shocked to discover that my own hidden adult judgment would still project and attempt to shut down the playful innocence of a magical child.
“Am I still doing this to my own little Bobby?” I question with shock.
Brutal Honesty
“What would I do to that innocent baby if the surfacing anger and judgment buried in my solar plexus were allowed to have its way?” I ask myself with painful and brutal honesty.
I shudder at the thought that unhealed emotional energies inside of me would still judge and suppress the magic of a child – my own inner magic. While giving lip service to the child’s magic, this unhealed part of me would be simultaneously trying to contain that magic in a well-behaved little box for public consumption.
“After all of the processing I have done regarding my own childhood shutdown,” I ponder, “how could such feelings possibly remain buried inside of me?”
Again, I sink forward in pain as tears stream down my cheeks.
Spinning My Wheels
“Brenda,” Keith guides me briefly, “you need to bring in outside energies to assist you in your learning/healing progress on this issue.”
For the next thirty minutes, I attempt to bring in energies from Mother Earth, trying to draw the life force up through my lower chakras as I did this morning before that amazing and unexpected burst of energy rocked my world. Believing that this is the answer, I push forward in my attempt to connect with more light, making some progress, but not much. I am just spinning my wheels.
Rebellious Resistance
“Brenda,” Keith eventually guides me from across the porch, “the energy you need to bring in is right in front of your heart, at heart level.”
I immediately begin to concentrate on this new shift in meditative focus. Intuitively, I recognize this new energy as the magical energy of my one-year-old self.
“Of course,” I ponder. “The energy I need to bring in is the heart energy of my own inner magic – magic that was once pushed away to keep it safe – magic that my adult-self has continued to push away.”
As I open my heart, inviting the energies to return, I feel as if only a small portion does so. It feels nice, quite familiar, but much more energy remains outside of me. The pain in my solar plexus is strong, seemingly swelling up in rebellion.
Additional intuition tells me that this energy in my solar plexus is the very energy that I once asked to shut these magical energies down – and my own belief systems continue to be the enforcers of that blockage.
No Fixing Allowed
“Ask the small amount of energy that did return to show you what it would do to help the solar plexus blockages.” Keith soon guides me when I ask for another clue.
“Pure unconditional love for my solar plexus,” I soon respond as the answer clearly flows into my intuitions.
Immediately, I focus on sending pure, innocent child-like love to the energies in my solar plexus. These are not fixing energies – just energies of genuine unconditional love.
A Real-Life Model
Gradually, over the next thirty minutes or so, I begin to ask more of the child-like magical energy to rejoin me in my heart. Each time I bring in another small piece of my own energy, I experience additional waves of resistance and fear.
I continue to watch beautiful innocent Aaculaax on the porch. To my delight, he walks over to where I am sitting, looks at me right in the eyes, and giggles right in my face. Gratitude again swells in my heart for this amazing real-life model of what pure unconditional love and joy is all about.
Lessons To Learn
As I giggle back at Aaculaax, I suddenly find myself giggling back at little fourteen-month-old Bobby – only he is not giggling at me. I am visualizing an actual photo of myself in which little Bobby looks quite stressed, with his eyebrows curled down at the corners from scrunching his forehead.
As this image floods my mind, I also note that I myself, in this very moment, am scrunching my eyebrows, physically attempting to choke the flowing energies.
I attempt to visualize Bobby as smiling back at me, as Aaculaax is doing right now – but instead I can only feel emotions of stress, fear, and stiff resistance – refusing to smile – refusing to relax into the joy.
Memory takes me back to last November, the first time I discovered little three-year-old Sharon hiding in a metaphorical cage in my solar plexus. It took me over a week to realize that she did not trust me, that she was my teacher, and that she would not come out until I learned the lessons that she needed me to learn.
I clearly understand now that fourteen-month-old Bobby is my teacher – and he is being just as resistant as was Sharon, not yet trusting me. He is watching my growth and knows that there is more that I must learn. He will not relax and giggle until I earn his complete trust – until I learn all the lessons that he needs to teach to me.
It is only then that Bobby will allow all of the energetic blockages in my solar plexus to come tumbling down. Those blockages are protections that he himself put into place to protect himself from the world of adults, of which I am currently the prime threat.
Multi-Generational Healing
“Brenda,” Keith interrupts after a while. “Start counting … how many are there?”
No sooner has Keith asked his question than I know exactly where he is headed. Several times over the last year I have watched with keen interest as Keith interrupts a ceremony and begins to explain to people that many of their ancestors have shown up on the porch – that they are all part of a much bigger plan in which they have all collaborated in order to help heal an energy on the planet.
As I connect to the energy around me, I intuitively feel something important is going on. While attempting to gather myself for a response to Keith, a feeling of being overwhelmed momentarily consumes me.
“I’m getting six or seven generations,” Keith volunteers, “including both the men and the women.”
Keith goes on to explain that all of my ancestors from six or seven generations back are gathered to support me – and that all of us have a collective energetic agreement that we made together, outside of time. Our plan was to perpetuate this childhood shutdown process, one generation at a time, with me as the end focal point. Each generation would take the energy of their parents, and pass it down amplified, until it eventually reaches me. It is now my responsibility to process and to heal that energy for the benefit of everyone.
To my surprise, Keith goes on to explain that my children and grandchildren are also in on the deal, that they are energetically gathered here as well, all in support of me moving the shutdown blockages that continue to shutdown their magic as well.
It is my job, with their support, to move this energy.
“Give it to the light, Brenda.” Keith then encourages me. “Release this energy for everyone involved.”
Honored And Overwhelmed
For a few minutes, I am stuck wandering in my head as I recognize that my profound Mormon heritage traces back on every single family line, right back to the early history of the church – as does that of my children. What better way to prepare me for such a lesson than to be born into a family of such strong fundamentalist religious roots.
The phrase, “Honor the family name,” was often used as a way to instill a sense of duty to these ancestors – in a sense sacrificing my own heart to uphold the heritage of others.
Had it not been for my chosen birth circumstances – that of being transgendered – there is no doubt that I would still be deeply stuck in that sense of multigenerational family responsibility.
I feel both honored and overwhelmed at the thought that it is now my job to move this shutdown energy on behalf of all of us. I struggle to find some metaphorical way to accomplish such a daunting task. I fully realize that it cannot be accomplished with left-brained thinking.
Finally, my thoughts are guided to think of the Muppet Show.
A Love-Filled Stage
Seconds later, I am visualizing every one of my ancestors and descendents energetically seated in the audience, including my own conscious-observer energy. At the same time, my physical self is standing on the stage, humorously interacting with Kermit, Miss Piggy, and the Cookie Monster.
Everyone, including my own conscious-observer self, is cheering me on, shouting out words of love and encouragement, reassuring me that I can release the pain, telling me to give the density to the light.
To allow this to work, I have to separate completely from rational mind – and I find that visualizing the process as magically happening to a separate physical-me on a stage in front of me proves to be quite effective.
For nearly two hours, I sit observing in that audience, surrounded by the support of extended family generations, while allowing waves of density to gently wash into my awareness, after which we all watch them release from my physical body. The crowd continuously and lovingly cheers me on.
At first, I actually feel the painful prickly energy leaving from my solar plexus. Eventually the pain manifests as a pronounced and very-familiar pain – as if a sharp nail is poking right into the exact center of my heart chakra.
A Group Cycle
Several times, I release this nail-in-the heart pain into the light – and actually feel it leave my physical body.
When my heart feels strong and peaceful, I then begin to bring in more of everyone’s pushed-out magic, back into my heart. The power of this group soul-retrieval causes intense panic and fear to come up – causing the physical heart-pain to resurface. Intuitively, I recognize these emotions of panic and fear as belonging to all of us in the group. These emotions are not just my own.
With the group’s encouragement and support, I next release the panic and fear, after which I resume the process of bringing in more of the group magic. It all moves in repetitive cycles. New magic triggers fear and panic – causing physical heart pain. Releasing the pain brings peace – allowing me to invite more magic to return.
When I eventually explain to Keith about all that is happening, he congratulates me, reassuring me that what I am doing is perfect – that he has nothing new to add.
“You are literally moving the density of all of the others involved in this agreement.” Keith emphasizes with loving confidence.
Keith goes on to explain that what I am releasing is not emotional density from my own past-lives or other-dimensional lives – that this is actual energy from other beings (my ancestors and descendents) that is being channeled through me. My collective agreement with these ancestors and descendents was that I would eventually be the funnel for this energy-healing process – a process that we designed outside of time – a process that has now been played out inside of time for hundreds of years.
Conscious Completion
“Keith, I know it is late, but I don’t feel done yet.” I soon interrupt. “Do you want me to leave and finish this on my own back in my apartment?”
To my delight, Keith encourages me to stay as long as is necessary. Finally, at nearly 7:00 p.m., I recognize that a stopping point is near.
“Congratulations on another amazing journey of following the energies wherever they lead you.” Keith tells me as we exchange a quick goodnight hug. Because it is now dark outside, Serg, who has remained on the porch to the very end, volunteers to walk with me back into town.
As I stroll through the darkness, part of me wonders if this process could have gone on for many days. Another part of me intuitively knows that it will go on for days, but that it will happen at other levels of consciousness, perhaps even in my dreams, no longer requiring my direct conscious involvement.
To Shine Without Fear
As I meditate briefly before bed, I am again blown away by the powerful journey that continues to effortlessly flow through me. All I need to do is to show up and be present – the rest seems to happen all by itself.
I could never have imagined how the presences of a beautiful one-year-old magical little boy could trigger so much amazing growth – growth that continues to this day. The emotions that began to overwhelm me at the start of this writing are now long-since faded.
It is clear that the adult judgment that bubbled to the surface – judgment that would continue to believe that a child ‘should be seen and not heard’ – was nothing but energetically inherited beliefs and conditioning, passed down from one generation to another. There is no doubt in my heart that this pattern is now broken, released back to the light, and transmuted.
I am well on my way toward liberating a suppressed and squashed little boy – no … wait … please, let me reword that.
I am well on my way toward liberating myself from the beliefs and generational conditioning that would suppress and squash the magic of a fourteen-month-old little Bobby.
Perhaps one day soon, I will earn Bobby’s complete trust. Perhaps then, he will drop the protective walls around his magic, allowing his beautiful gifts to shine without fear.
Copyright © 2011 by Brenda Larsen, All Rights Reserved