(This is the sixth installment of a series of posts describing my experiences in San Marcos, Guatemala from November 7th up to the present time. Subsequent posts will follow very soon.)
A cool morning breeze brushes my face while the low rising sun begins to gently warm my cheeks. As I sip my mug of hot lemon juice, Sandra giggles and exclaims, “Brenda, I can just feel it. Today is going to be an amazing day!”
Something must be is in the air, because I too feel the almost magical energy. In joyful anticipation, I imagine myself surrounded by a warm fuzzy blanket of unconditional love.
After a very emotionally-difficult three days, Thanksgiving morning feels like the perfect opportunity to overflow with deep gratitude – gratitude for an amazing roommate – gratitude for a continuous stream of unbelievable spiritual growth opportunities – and gratitude for bringing fascinating spiritual teachers into my life, each with such varied styles and gifts to offer.
Unexpected Twists
A new opportunity has presented itself, and my heart demands that I take advantage of the offer. To make a very long story quite short, Sandra met a woman-in-need yesterday, and has volunteered to escort her out to participate in a semi-private session with Keith at 12:30 p.m.. Nadia has assured Sandra that she would not miss anything important in class.
When I feel intuitively prompted to ask, “Can I join you?” I am delighted as Sandra tells me “Yes, of course. Keith told me that if you feel guided to ask, that you are absolutely welcome to come along and join us.”
Morning class time with Nadia is amazing. In deep spiritual peace, we finish up our Sacred Geometry meditations and then switch modes into the realm of Reiki Master attunements. I find myself floating in harmonious, radiating, peaceful energy.
The moment that Reiki Master Attunements are finished, Sandra and I scurry out the door. Even though we are already fifteen minutes late, we know that Guatemala time prevails, and that we will be just fine – except for one thing that is.
We cannot find the woman that we are supposed to bring with us. For ten minutes we walk around the grounds of the beautiful little hotel where the woman is staying. Her room is empty, and the staff says that she left a few hours earlier. Finally, we turn to each other to ask “What do you think we should do now?”
My heart cries out “Go to Keith’s house anyway.” I smile and share my intuition with Sandra, pointing out that perhaps the Universe is setting us up to have our own little private session with Keith – just the two of us.
“I feel the same thing.” Sandra replies confidently as we begin the beautiful ten-minute walk toward the edge of town.
Soon, as we sit chatting with our favorite Chocolate Shaman on his patio, Keith asks with a grin. “Do you two want to play?”
Keith loves what he does so much, that for him – and now for me – this type of emotional/intuitive work literally does feels like play. Keith has a little extra raw cacao already mixed up, so we decide to do our own mini chocolate ceremony.
Bringing Back The Magic
“Brenda,” Keith begins, “you have done some amazing work this week.”
As I reflect on my roller coaster ride of the last five days this welcome little verbal “pat on the back” feels quite validating and reassuring. Almost before finishing his sentence, however, Keith switches his attention over to Sandra.
Keith is intuitively guided to coach Sandra through the process of reintegrating some of the childhood magic that she pushed out of her life when she was a little girl – something she had done to protect the magic from being scarred and damaged. To my amazement and delight, everything that Keith discusses with Sandra seems to apply equally as well to my own intuitive journey.
While Keith guides Sandra, I embark on my own parallel journey through a subconscious realm that is remarkably similar – a journey of discovery, searching for my own inner magic that was buried away in a very safe place during a time when I was very young.
At one point, I feel a strong intuition to go into a relaxing Mer-Ka-Ba meditation. Just as I am on the fourteenth breath – a phase where the meditation switches the energetic focus deep into the heart space – Keith suddenly switches his attention back to me.
“Good Brenda,” Keith interjects. “Now you are moving to a whole new level of growth and integration.”
I giggle as I silently recognize that, in a very special way, Keith has just validated what I am doing. Several times during the first half of our session, I again focus my loving heart energy into another powerful Mer-Ka-Ba meditation. Each time, right around the point where I reach the fourteenth breath, Keith again suddenly switches attention back to me, making another powerful feedback comment.
My heart energy is alive and flying.
Not all of the attention is on Sandra. I feel fully included at every step. “Bringing in the magic” seems to call powerfully to my soul. This hidden magic consists of my intuitive and psychic gifts that would have been seen as wrong, abnormal, and possibly even evil in the religious world of my youth. I had to bury the magic deeply in order to protect it. If I had not done so, the magic would have been rejected, punished, and damaged beyond recognition.
Social Magic
Suddenly a new insight flashes brightly through my subconscious mind in a very powerful way.
As if out of nowhere, with no help whatsoever from Keith, I unexpectedly recognize that my incredibly difficult social years as a teenager were in fact a huge blessing – a blessing that protected my precious inner magic from the trampling feet of strangers.
Prior to recognizing my gender struggles, I had been quite the outgoing and social child. But as soon as I began to realize that I was being teased for my personality differences, I immediately shut down my heart to protect what was inside.
Before today’s session with Keith, I have always assumed that what I buried beneath the shame of those tender years was simply a boatload of gender related insecurity and pain. But now, as I quietly meditate while Keith talks to Sandra, I intuitively realize that I was protecting much more than that – I was guarding a treasure chest of priceless precious jewels.
Like Sandra, I too had a great deal of inner magic going on in my childhood – but that magic was so clouded over by gender struggles that I simply could not see it. Much of what made me feel like a misfit had nothing at all to do with gender – but in my confusion, I refrained from further exposing my precious inner magic to the potential ridicule of others.
Had I remained a bubbly and social youth, I would most likely have been a much different person today. Being popular would have caused my life’s river to flow in completely different canyons – different friends, different values, different everything. I have no way to know what may have been different – yet deep intuition tells me that my social withdrawal was a critical element in protecting who I am from being damaged in ways that I can now only speculate.
Yes, the social isolation into which I put myself is largely responsible for keeping my magic safe and sound. By remaining deeply buried, the magic remained intact and unharmed.
Attempts to explain the sudden power of my new insight defy logic and reason.
Socially-limiting beliefs that I have carried around for as long as I can remember seem to suddenly vanish into thin air. I no longer feel even the slightest bit socially defective. The thoughts of being a social misfit – of being a clumsy social reject – literally seem quite laughable.
I feel deep gratitude for the protection of my teenage years. I recognize that everything was exactly as it needed to be – exactly as my Higher Self planned it to be – and that all was perfect.
While meditating quietly in the presence of Keith and Sandra, deep social confidence begins to flow through my veins. I feel as if I have been given a blood transfusion of true identity and divine essence. Gone are the regrets, confusion, doubts, and fears regarding social interaction. Restored is a pure feeling of unconditional love. Peace fills my heart.
Thanksgiving Joy
As darkness begins to settle around Keith’s magical porch, Sandra and I glance at each other to confirm the time.
Terri, one of our amazing classmates in Nadia’s course, is hosting Nadia, Mark, Sharon, Sandra, and I for a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner tonight.
A flash of intuition causes me to open my mouth. “Why don’t you join us tonight?” I ask Keith. “Terri loves you, and I know there will be enough food. In fact, if there is a shortage of food you can have half of my plate.”
“Yes, please do join us.” Sandra adds with love. “You can have half of my plate too.”
Keith graciously accepts our heartfelt invitation.
As Sandra and I are about half way back to our apartment, I suddenly jump for joy – literally leaping repeatedly into the air and spinning in circles while screaming out passionate empowering statements at the top of my lungs – statements such as “Hello world, it’s my birthday” and “I’m back” and “Look out world, here I come.”
Yes, Sandra and I are on a relatively isolated patch of road that is lined by jungle on both sides, but I feel as if I could scream for joy right in the middle of a huge crowd and it would make no difference.
Feeling reborn seems to be a frequent experience these days. I am kind of getting used to the feeling.
Thanksgiving Chicken
Thirty minutes later, Keith is knocking at our door, and the three of us walk toward our destination through a small maze of poorly-lit dirt paths. Our hostess, Terri, owns a small hotel and restaurant here in San Marcos. The restaurant has been closed because of low-season, but tonight, it is open and thriving – just for us.
The evening is magical. The Thanksgiving chicken is delightful, and the social conversation is alive with love. I cannot think of a more beautiful ending to a perfect day.
As I rest my head on my soft pillow, my mind drifts back to cool morning breezes, warm rising sun, hot lemon tea, and a delightful conversation with Sandra. Our morning intuition had been perfect.
“Brenda, I can just feel it.” I giggle quietly to myself. “Yes, today did indeed turn out to be an amazing day.”
Copyright © 2010 by Brenda Larsen, All Rights Reserved